disappear with intent

I never imagined a time in my life that I wouldn’t put this social media life I’ve created first. “As Always, Ara,” was something I would wake up and go to bed thinking about. Things like, how I could make my account grow and connect with more people, designing my next creative photoshoot, or scouting locations as I drive to and fro were among the many things I would think about throughout my day.

Though I have yet to make more than $20 or receive many free items as collaborations since becoming an influencer almost two years ago, it’s never been about the revenue for me — this is something I truly love to do. I love being creative and working really hard on a photoshoot and blog post and sharing that creativity with other creative minds. It fulfills me… I never thought that would change.

The world of creating on social media is hard work. It’s all on you. It’s up to you to make your accounts great and worth following… you’re absolutely gonna get out of it what you put into it and if you think otherwise, you’re mistaken. Though, now that I have a full-time career as a TV news reporter (something else I’d hoped for and worked towards for years in college) it’s made creating for social media even harder. It allows little time for anything not absolutely important at the end of the day or during my two days off to get done. (I’ve slowly moved from an apartment into a house this month.) So all the time I would spend preparing for photoshoots, shopping for new outfits to model, and writing from my heart was no longer available. I was struggling to keep up with something that used to come so easy.

I stopped posting regularly 4 weeks ago. With each passing week I knew I was falling more and more behind with where I ultimately wanted my engagement to be and soon if not already, I would be forgotten. I started feeling defeated, and though I had just renewed my blog domain for another year, I was beginning to feel like quitting my blog after all this time away was the only unfortunate answer. That it was fun while it lasted, but as they say, “all good things must come to an end.”

After some push by the people that love me to start posting again, I came to realize that I had put myself out of my game and though time was passing with no sign of returning to what I love, this time-out wasn’t actually putting me out forever. I just needed to find the balance between work and my hobby. I realized I could use the time away from posting to plan my next steps and put the creative pieces back together. After all, there’s no magic switch. Nobody actually reinvents themselves overnight. While it would just take a little more time, I knew if I wanted to start again, the only person stopping me was myself.

After falling into a work routine, I found the time I needed to break, refuel and plan for my next great posts. My disappearance from social media will be followed with some new and fun, fresh content (like that of above) as I take on this new chapter in my life. I understand now that the disappearance from my little world was necessary to that chapter of learning and comprehending how to be an adult and take on my new career while learning how to make that career co-exist with my passions. I wanna say that disappearing for a little while is okay, so long as you do so with intent. For when you return, you bring with you a newfound perspective and ways to excel.

As always,

Ara

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